Anxiety can feel over whelming and like a swirling pit of nothing flowing around in your stomach, never leaving and never changing.
Each person will probably describe their anxiety different from then next and that’s because it is their own.
Firstly Anxiety is OK, no one in the history of the world has died because of anxiety, however at times it might feel that way.
We also need anxiety, it is a GOOD thing, it makes us more aware of danger.
When trying to cope with anxiety you firstly need to understand what it is your feeling, is it anxiety OR is it a worry?
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANXIETY AND WORRY?
A worry is something that will go away when the task is complete, so going for a job interview, on a date or starting a new job or school, once you’ve been once and everything was ok then the worry goes.
Anxiety is something that doesn’t go away is always there and is given power by avoiding what you’re anxious about.
With Children this can be more difficult to decide, as children and young people can’t always work out what the feeling is or what that feeling feels like.
Things which can hinder.
Because Anxiety can feel really uncomfortable we want to run away from it. But this only give anxiety power and allows it to grow in the induvial.
Anxiety goes back as far as the stone age probably even further when we were hunter gathers and there was a real risk of serious harm or death, from predators which were bigger than us, DINOSAURS!!
And this is when the role of anxiety came into play, it’s there to keep us safe, without it we would been eaten by dinosaurs.
You would probably walk into the road or fall out of a window. It’s because of fear; this makes you stop, look and ultimately keep you alive.
Now with all of this in mind removing yourself or a child from a situation that is making them feel uncomfortable is only going to send a signal to their brain that they are in danger.
And eventually you or your child will associate that feeling with I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE and finally avoid situations altogether.
As parents, you tell your child from a young age, what they are feeling so they can learn and understand what each feeling feels like.
Allowing yourself or your child to experience scared feelings through uncomfortable or new tasks and completing them, allows the growth of their/your comfort zone.
THINGS THAT MAY HELP
Instead of removing yourself or your child from the situation that is causing them anxiety, change it. So if your out having a picnic and there are lots of people around and its really loud, move to a different spot but still continue to have lunch.
Take something with you to fiddle with, some putty, a stress ball or even a smooth stone. This can help by grounding.
Remember 5, 4, 3, 2, 1: look around for 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste, this helps move your brain forward.
Bubbles are also useful for helping with breathing and almost tricking the brain into thinking about something else and slowing the breath down.
Do things that make you scared as much as you can, this will then help you grow a new comfort zone.
*Please remember that these posts are my opinion based on my own experience and also working with clients. *
Below is a downloadable Word Doc all on different breathing techniques, the important thing about is you are your children practice it when your relaxed and calm then your brain can tag the feeling.
Then when you need it at a time of heightened anxiety or worry your brain will go back to the feeling it tagged it and will go back to the calm and relaxed sense.